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Your Family & Friends
A supportive family and good friends can encourage you during tough times and offer help when you need it.
Your family & friends likely share similar feelings of frustration & confusion. Many of their responses to your condition may fall into two categories: Caretaking & Punishing.
Other’s Responses to Your Pain Condition
| Caretaking | Neutral | Punitive (punishing) |
| Overly care-taking | Not asking about pain/symptoms | Try to help but can’t |
| Asking about your pain often | Diverting/distracting (redirecting focus) | Frustrated |
| Taking on more responsibility | “what would they tell you at your pain rehabilitation program?” | Angry/resentful |
| “Pillow fluffing” (unnecessarily pampering) | Things seem “normal” | Guilty |
Coaching your loved ones:
- Let loved ones know that the most helpful response is to remain neutral.
- Punishing & caretaking responses: encourage you to focus on pain & symptoms rather than on rehabilitation.
- Talk to your loved ones and let them know what helps you.
- Allow your loved ones the opportunity to express their feelings about your pain.